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‘Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. ~Margaret Young

What if you teach about relationships, yet you don’t have the perfect relationship? 

What if you teach about money management, but you haven’t amassed a millionaire’s fortune?

What if you teach others how to market and build a business, yet you are still striving to achieve a certain income level?

Can you still help others if you haven’t “made it,” yet?

When I am working with my clients, inevitably, when they consider teaching others how to do something they’ve learned, and have had some success at doing, many times they still object to teaching others because they feel they haven’t “made it.”

In other words, they haven’t achieved a level of mastery they feel they should have achieved, to have the ‘right’ to teach others what they know.  They think if they do so, they’re a fraud.

I am here to tell you this is just not true.

First of all, who’s to say what destination you “should have” arrived at?  There are people out there right now who are looking for you, with your unique experiences they can relate to, and only two or three steps ahead of them.  And as a mentor, this is all you truly need to be to help your clients!

You don’t need to be the superstar coach in your industry.  There is plenty of room for co-stars to stand out, and become known for their unique offerings, and how they help.

Remember Fonzie from the T.V. hit show Happy Days?  He was not the star of the show, but he was still certainly a “hit,” and got plenty of attention!  The same is true for you, too.

If you teach about marketing, there are certain things you know, and ways of teaching that nobody else knows because your teachings are based on your personal experience. You can teach it in a way that nobody else can.

If you have something to offer, you simply cannot let the gremlins in your mind stop you from using your gifts.  What you have to teach others will change their lives forever, so don’t hold that back from the people you are meant to help.

If you’re still thinking you haven’t arrived, ask yourself, “What is the destination, anyway?”  Your life is a never-ending journey of growth.  As soon as you’ve arrived at one destination, there’s a new one to strive toward.  My point is you never arrive, because there’s always a new place to get to.

Another thing you must do is claim your expertise; this is really the bottom line.  No matter where you are on your path, claim your expertise.

My coach’s request of you this week is if you have any concerns about teaching what you know, because you feel you don’t know enough, have not arrived, will feel like a fraud, is to look at all your expertise, credentials, and unique experiences.  You can help others perfectly, today, right from where you are!

Problem: playing small, not shining, not being an example, keeps others and me small

Why the need to change: to be a model, help others grow, grow income, be self-sufficient, live out life purpose, fulfill dreams, and strive to achieve potential

How to change: recognize where you are playing small, and what the cost is to you, and what you are going to do to change

When faced with a must-change behavior we are doing, in a moment’s time it becomes apparent this behavior has to change.  The behavior I need to change is to stop playing small, hiding out, and keeping my success to myself.

Why?  Because if I am to be the leader I want to be, a ‘Leading Lady,’ I have to set an example for the women I want to help.  I have to be a model of success.  I have to show what I’ve achieved, so they can see it, believe it, and increase their own awareness the same is possible for them.

This past weekend it hit me like a brick falling out of thin air.  Because of a fear of people not liking me, thinking I am bragging, and generally not wanting people to be jealous of me, I’ve been playing very, very small.  This is my bare-all confession to you.

This weekend I decided I was tired of playing small.  I am going to step out, step up, and be the model of success and leader women entrepreneurs need to help them achieve success, too.

Part of my mission I deeply believe in is that women have the right to thrive and support themselves on their own terms, using their unique gifts and talents, and not having to conform to anyone else’s expectations of them, “shoulds,” and fears getting in the way.  The ONLY way I am going to be heard is if I step out, get this message out, and express it in my own being.

So, for me, becoming the Leading Lady of my own life means taking full ownership of my point of view, beliefs, and mission, and helping those I’m meant to serve.

To help you, I want to share ideas with you, that you, in turn, can model and step into.

I know I am a leader.  I have lived it, I’ve had amazing successes, I feel it in my bones.  It’s something I am, and am destined to be.  I can step up and be a stronger role model by expressing this to you, so you can follow me and achieve the same, rather than hiding out and keeping it a secret.

Here are ways I expressed hiding out so you can learn from them, know what it has cost me, as well as those people I was meant to help.

Not collecting enough testimonials for the work I do.  Cost:  People don’t know how I can help them, they don’t know the “whole story,” may have insufficient evidence, and not as many people hired me, which means I did not help as many people, and they didn’t reach the levels of success they may have.  It also hurt my income, too.

Not raising my fees as high as what I am worth.  Cost: This has kept my income suppressed, I did not create the security cushion fast enough, that I needed to pursue my passion full-bore, I am not attracting enough of the type of client who will appreciate my work the most, and be willing to pay for it because they know I’ve “got the goods” to help them succeed.

Not speaking of my success.  Cost: Women have not been able to use me as a strong role model as they could have, because they didn’t know I wasn’t an “Average Jane.”  The cost to other women has been high, because they may not have sought my help, when I am the best one to help them.

Not speaking of my income and lifestyle.  The reason is that I don’t want to “brag.”  Cost: Inauthenticity, suppressing myself, not wanting to make others feel bad, where it could have been used to lift others up and bring them along with me.

The total cost to me over the last three years of keeping my gifts “hidden” is over $1,000,000 in lost income.  Shocking, isn’t it?  And, I have not helped as many women as I could have by staying small, which means their incomes have been suppressed, as well.

What’s the cost to you for not stepping out, and stepping up into playing the role of Leading Lady in your life?

I am declaring to you from this moment on, I am boldly stepping into being the leader of my business that I am.  How will you know?  You will see me open up more about my point of view, what I will “go to the mat for,” and expressing my beliefs.  I will be sharing my successes, and collecting proof of the transfomration my clients get by working with me.  And, I am going to be a leading example that you can model so you can grow with me, too.

No more playing small, the cost is too high to me, and those I am meant to help.  No more.